Tell the Story Technique
Gary Graig (founder of EFT) emphasised and re-emphasised, the importance of being specific. One of the biggest mistakes that newcomers to EFT can make, is to tap for a general or global issue, like "I'm not good enough" or "I had a car accident". This might lead to disappointing results and cause a person to conclude that EFT does not work for their specific problem. As Gary said, tapping globally is like trying to clear a whole forest with one swing of an axe.
We teach that the mantra of EFT is "Be specific to be terrific". How, then, can we get more specific with our use of EFT?
This is exactly where "Tell the Story" is incredibly useful. It's a way for us to find and tap away the specific details of an upsetting event. It's a really useful way to start clearing your "emotional forest".
How to use Tell the Story
Find a time and place where you'll be undisturbed for 20-30 minutes. Keep a piece of paper and pen/pencil handy to jot down notes while you work. Sometimes other ideas/events surface while you're working on this one, and ideally you'd keep a note about it for a next session. It's best and most productive to work on one event at a time.
A small word of common sense. Start with an event that is not too upsetting so that you can first practice this technique before you tackle the more serious ones. Also, it is possible that you start tapping and your feelings become more intense. Keep tapping. Alternatively, if you feel that the feelings are overwhelming, please consult a certified and competent EFT practitioner to help you work through this event.
It might be easiest to start with taking a few relaxing deep breaths to become present. Close your eyes, and focus on the distressing event. How upset do you get, on the SUDS level of 0-10 when you think about it? 0 is no distress, and 10 is the worst distress you can imagine. Write this number down.
Also note where in your body you feel this distress. With eyes still closed, cast your eyes downwards in your body, and really tune in with what's happening in the body. Is there a tightness in the chest? Butterflies on the stomach? A knot somewhere? Tightness in your shoulders? A frown? A hot or cold sensation anywhere? Lump in your throat? Note everything and write them down.
It's important to take note of your SUDS level (0-10) and where in the body you notice the sensations. You will use this information to test whether you're making progress or not. If you don't know whether there's progress, how will you know when you're done?
Are you too distressed already just thinking about the story? Please STOP right here and do a few rounds on your current distress. Examples:
- "Even though it upsets me just to think about it..."
- "Even though I get anxious because I know what's coming..."
- "Even though I don't like this whole thing..."
- "Even though I don't like reliving this..."
- "Even though I'm afraid to get too upset..."
When the distress is down to a 3 or lower, start telling yourself the story a little while before your story gets upsetting. In other words, if you were in a car accident, start telling the story where you still felt fine, relaxed, happy or peaceful. Continue telling the story and (here's a very important part) STOP IMMEDIATELY when you start feeling any emotion.
This truly is a critical point. We are all conditioned to be brave, or suppress the feeling and soldier on. If you don't stop right here and tap for what's shown up, you miss an opportunity for healing this part of the event. A critical part of being thorough with EFT is to tap for every upsetting piece of the event.
Identify the emotion you feel at this point (for instance fear, anxiety, anger, panic, queasiness). Create a set-up statement for this emotion, for instance "Even though I feel this anxiety in my stomach, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway" and tap through all the points. Check in with your intensity level about the anxiety after one round. If it's not down to a 0 yet, repeat the rounds until it is a 0.
Retell this part of the story to TEST your work. If there is still some anxiety at this point of the story, you're not quite done with it. Check in to see if you can get more specific. If you felt anxious about "approaching headlights", add this information into your set-up and reminder phrases. For instance "Even though I have this approaching head-light anxiety in my stomach, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway". Tap until you can retell this part of the story with no remaining intensity.
Carry on with the story, working through each part of it in the same way. The process is complete when you can tell the entire story with no intensity.
You can now do the ultimate test: Tell the story again and literally try to get yourself upset. Make the colours brighter, make the sounds louder, intensify all aspects of the scene. This can help you to uncover some hidden pieces that slipped through until now. Repeat the tapping for those pieces.
Summary:
- Tap for each emotional point in the story until it is down to a 0 or 1
- Test that part of the story again by re-telling it. If there is still some emotion, repeat step 1 with more specific details
- Carry on with the rest of the story and stop at the next emotional point
- Repeat steps 1 - 3 until you can tell yourself the whole story with no distress
Uses for Tell the Story technique:
Clear a single uncomfortable event that is still distressing when you think about it
- If you're still obsessing about what you should have said or could have said (to your boss, your partner/spouse, child, mother....)
- Car or other accidents
- Painful childhood memories
- Divorce and other painful love relationship memories
- The day you received a medical diagnosis or other bad news
- Other times you had a shock
Clear limiting beliefs
- The beliefs that limit us today, did not appear out of the blue. None of us were born with a belief that says "I'm not good enough". It was created because of a traumatic or dramatic event (or events) where a part of you made a decision about life, yourself or others. For instance - your mother critisiced you in front of your boyfriend and in that moment, a part of you decided "That means I'm not good enough for my mother". A series of similar events often serve to reinforce this belief
- If you start looking for all the events in your life where you felt "not good enough" (or whatever your limiting belief is) and work through them gradually with "Tell the Story Technique", the belief cannot and will not have a grip on you anymore! Your whole life can change for the better.
Personal Peace Procedure
You can use this technique as part of your Personal Peace Procedure to create a life of peace, abundance and health.
